There are probably thousands of reasons for divorce and probably as just as many reasons people should get a divorce.  Getting accurate statistics on the reasons why people divorce is relatively impossible due to the many differences in state laws regarding marriage and the methods of reporting divorce in these states. In addition, most states have adopted some form of “no fault” divorce which allows a spouse to file for divorce by just stating a reason such as “irreconcilable differences” or that the couple just can’t get along.

That being said, there has been much research done on the subject of why people get divorce or the reasons for divorce. While solid statistical data may be a little harder to find most research article do provide an outline of some of the most common reasons for divorce.

Core Differences
Sometimes people marry without fully understanding each other’s beliefs, values, goals and interests. Things as simple as how many children they want or even if they want children at all. Religion, family value and how you want to raise children also. It’s surprising how often married couples don’t have these conversations until it’s too late.

Communication Breakdown
The inability to communicate effectively is one of the common reasons for divorce. Especially, when it involves some sort of conflict or disagreement.  Most couples don’t realize they may have major communication issues until several disagreements later in the relationship. The way people react to conflict and turmoil is extremely important in a relationship. Some people are aggressive while others avoid arguments and conflict. Couples usually don’t have this issue during their “honeymoon” phase.

Emotional, Psychological or Physical Abuse
Abuse has many forms and most abusers have grown up with something similar as a child. Many of these patterns emerge later in the relationship when a couple begins to take on traditional roles as husband & wife or father & mother. Physical abuse should never be tolerated towards a spouse or child. This is one of the hardest patterns to break and usually doesn’t go away on it’s own. While emotional and psychological abuse may not have physical danger it can also be just as destructive to a marriage and family.  All forms of abuse have severe consequences and can last generations.

Financial Issues
Every couple has to deal with financial issues at some point and it is still one of the most common reasons for divorce. Whether the problem is not enough money or what to do with the money they have, couples will find that significant differences will rise in priorities or the level of importance of money. The significance of money can also be traced back to childhood and how each spouse was raised. Income and debt go beyond just simple numbers and can relate to how a person views the world and themselves.

Growing apart
Sometimes couples just grow apart during their marriage. It happens in younger marriages where the spouses will just mature differently or it could be a simple consequence of getting married to young and not really knowing who you were or what you wanted in life. It also happens to older couples who grow apart during the process of their marriage, living and losing track of each other. Jobs, children, activities, and life can blur together until one day they realize they no longer know or love each other. While there can be anger or resentment sometimes it might just be complacency.

The reasons for divorce are as complex and varied as the reasons people get married. Personality, upbringing, emotional health and many other factors play a role.  The reasons above, while simple, are at the very core of who we are as people first – then as couples. Understanding this helps in understanding why people divorce.